Some say that he has two left hands, and his nose can tell when it will rain. All we know is that he's called DFM.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Yes, Your Butt Does Look Fat In Those Jeans

My dad is fond of saying that men don't look good in dresses. I disagree. That's not to say that I think men should wear dresses, or that when they do that they look good, rather I mean to say that I do not feel convinced that a man cannot look good in a dress (if he had the right dress).

The problem as I see it is that when men in North America do wear a dress, they are usually embarrassed about the obvious breach of Western gender norms. Subsequently, these men will pick the frilliest, puffiest dress with the gaudiest shoes and make-up, and choose the most exagerated effeminate walk they can think of. By doing so, these men have turned themselves into a feminine characature, and thus have freed themselves from the social consequences of cross-dressing (fat people have made jokes about themselves to deflect criticism for ages, and really these cross dressing men are just doing the same thing).

I'm not surprised that my dad feels these men do not look good in the dresses they choose, but I disagree with the insinuation that it has something to do the sex of the people wearing the dresses. The reason these men do not look good in their dresses is because the dresses do no look good... on anyone.

I hate dresses, and so as a general rule I try to avoid places where women will likely wear them. This means that I did not attend my own prom, and the last time I saw a large number of females in dresses was my junior high commencement. I do however remember clearly that at this commencement only one girl was wearing a dress that looked good on her. Considering there were seven grade nine classes that year, with at least 25 students in each class, this was not a good average. Of those 175 girls in ugly dresses, how many of them were told they looked "really pretty?" Probably all of them.

The reason for this censoring of the truth, is because the girls in ugly dresses had gone out of their way to appear more feminine, and for some reason it is assumed that to be feminine is to be pretty. This is not the case. To look feminine is to quite often look like crap. Most men could save women a lot of future pain and embarrassment if they just told them so, but most men will not tell women this simple truth because this would require them to question the infallability of the current gender norms. The current gender norms represent the "natural order of things," and to question the natural order of things is tantamount to proclaiming oneself gay.

So, in conclusion, if any women out there are having trouble "finding a good man," it's because you're chasing after men who compliment you when you try to look feminine. Do yourself a favour and look for a man who tells you that your dress looks like crap, and that yes, your butt does look fat in those jeans, for this is a man who loves you enough to be honest. You can thank me on your 50th wedding anniversary.

(Oh my God, that is the ugliest dress I've ever... oh, you're a woman in dress, my mistake, you look sooooo pretty, omg lol!!!!!!!).

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